Speaking of time and how things can change brings up something that has been on my mind for a while now, but not had the time to write about it until now. 7 months ago my department went from being a 100% volunteer department to a combination department. In a previous post I wrote about growing pains and how it was going to be a big adjustment for everyone.
In the last 7 months morale has dropped to an all time low, turnout has fallen off the map among the volunteers, and training has fallen by the wayside. I for one, and I'm ashamed to say it, am disgruntled. I feel like those that volunteer have been pushed to the back burner and all the focus has been put on the full time guys. I know I'm not the only one that feels this way either.
As a Captain, I feel like rank and chain of command mean nothing anymore. Things that I used to take care of have now been handed off to others, and things that I should know about I find out through the grapevine. Now to be fair I will not put all the blame on others. I realize that a lot has gone into the switch from one type of department to the other and certain things need to to be done. Maybe some of the blame is mine and my disgruntledness has gotten the best of me. I feel as though mine and a lot of others hard work and dedication over the years has been forgotten.
I have been to the point where I wanted to give up rank and to the point where I just wanted to turn all my gear in and walk away completely, but my passion for the job won't let me, I love it to much. I have given 13 years of service to this community and don't want to stop. I sometimes let my emotions get the best of me, but at the end of the day I can't walk away.
I know that time has a way of working things out. I hope so in this case. I want to see the department back the way it was 13 years ago when I joined. I want to see the morale go back up, pride, ownership and passion return. I need to be better myself. I can start with me and maybe it will be contagious and we can get back on track. Only time will tell.
Until next time,
Y'all be safe